July 12, 2010
A conversation.
C: Where'd you get that skillet?
Me: At that store that's exactly like Linens 'n' Things, but the other one.
T: Skillets 'n' Things?!
Me: Uh no. You know...
C: Ha! No, I know, it's called...
T: LINENS 'N' SKILLETS ?!?!
[queue hysterical laughter]
Posted by Duff at 12:28 PM | E-Mail | Comments (1) | Permalink | filed under Random Quotes
December 25, 2009
A recent medical evaluation.
Doctor: So where would you say your pain is on a scale from 1 to 10?
Me: My pain level? Is pretty low. My annoyance level? Is off the fucking charts.
(Three weeks of not being able to hear out of my left ear...and counting.)
Posted by Duff at 10:29 AM | E-Mail | Comments (0) | Permalink | filed under Random Quotes
August 19, 2009
DadReaction: "My only complaint about Julia Child,
and I say this as the dishwasher in the family, is if you could make something using 2 pans, she instructs you to make it using 8."
Posted by Duff at 10:46 PM | E-Mail | Comments (0) | Permalink | filed under DadReaction, Random Quotes
July 08, 2009
Never Enough.
Can someone be loved by too many people? I hope not.
Posted by Duff at 05:47 AM | E-Mail | Comments (0) | Permalink | filed under Random Quotes
July 06, 2009
Favorite Quote of Today
And if you hold it while you light it, get rid of it quick.
Posted by Duff at 08:26 AM | E-Mail | Comments (0) | Permalink | filed under " " of the XXX., Random Quotes
February 12, 2009
Quote from Sunday Brunch with Steph
Me: So how was your food?
Steph: Slimy, stringy, poofy, gritty.
Me: So... good, then?
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October 23, 2008
David Sedaris on the "Undecided" Voters.
To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”
To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.
I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?
[Link via Three Imaginary Girls, via Slog via The New Yorker]
Posted by Duff at 09:43 AM | E-Mail | Comments (0) | Permalink | filed under Random Quotes
October 22, 2008
My Evening with Kevin Smith / Big Screen: Zach and Miri Make a Porno
7:30pm - Already in line for Zach and Miri an hour from now (ridiculous).
7:31pm - But turns out pomegranate jelly bellies are addictive. So there's that.
7:43pm - This is worse than the Battlestar lines at Dragon*Con. And no twins here to keep me company.
8:35pm - Oh shit Kevin Smith is actually going to be here!!
[Viewing Zack and Miri Make a Porno]
10:31pm - Kevin Smith Q and A is making me very happy!
10:37pm - Someone just asked "Kevin, did George Lucas step on your balls about Star Whores?"
10:43pm - Kevin Smith used to be a Front Wiper. I do not jest. [Until Harley Quinn's birth when a nurse told him he should be doing it the other way!]
10:47pm - His next movie* is so bleak "it makes Dark Knight look like Beverly Hills Chihuahua."
11:12pm - Rosario Dawson was supposed to play Miri. [They moved the timing of filming and that made it conflict with "Eagle Eye" so they had to find someone else relatively last minute. But Elizabeth Banks is actually perfect in it (my opinion AND his) so it worked out great. Per Kevin: "She really grounds the movie."]
11:24pm - Kevin Smith's all-time fav porn title: "Jerk my cum crayon and color me white."
*Next movie = Red State. Described as him finally finding a way to talk politics. A political horror film. Not funny at all. Having trouble finding financing.
Explanatory:
At Chicago Film Festival to see Zach & Miri. Often there are directors and/or actors who take Q&A afterward but it's generally noted in the program. This one didn't say so but surprise surprise. So sad my dad couldn't be here to see this!!! If you don't know: Kevin Smith LOVES doing Q&As. If you've ever listened to a SModcast or watched one of his An Evening with Kevin Smith DVDs, you can pretty much imagine how a) awesome and b) funny this was. And also how insanely comfortable he is talking about any and/or every personal detail of his life.
Other random quotes that I didn't actually twitter:
Ben Affleck on viewing Jason Mewes' nude scene: "You realize Mewes is just one pump away from full liftoff, right?"
Personal note to Ben from me: Are you just maybe kinda jealous because Jason Mewes is so smokin hot in this movie? [I'm so not joking. Skinny and his hair all clean cut? And damn those shoulder tattoos are AWESOME.]
After talking about Red State and saying "Sorry for bringing the whole room down", someone started their question with "Not to bring the whole room down again" and KS yelled "So Don't!" and tried to move on. Turned out the dude wanted to ask him about the whole "how're you doing on your diet thing?" [What a dick.] KS wasn't necessarily "happy to" but he, in his usual brutally honest way, did respond and chat about it. But the best part was when he pointed out "You know, some skinny motherfucker always has to point out how fat I am!!!" And the whole audience looked at the questioner disapprovingly! Ha!
And the movie?
Lots of fun. Totally crude and nasty and gross. And soooooo funny and very sweet and romantic. Honestly, the last five minutes, even with the Dutch Rudder jokes, were so touching. YAY!!! [And I don't even like Seth Rogen.] Also Darryl from The Office? is HYSTERICAL in this. Brandon Routh was a total Tom Cruise doppelganger. So much so it gave me a little doubletake each time. A great night at the movies. The flick alone made me grin like an idiot. And then Kevin Smith's appearance just sent the evening over the top.
*Bliss*.
Posted by Duff at 08:53 AM | E-Mail | Comments (1) | Permalink | filed under Flicks, Random Quotes, Recommending, Watchin'
June 19, 2008
Best Twitter Ever
How does one choose a Battlestar call sign, really? I'm thinking Schmoo, but does that really communicate my abilities as a viper pilot?
(not written by me / but there's an obvious clue if you also know this person!)
Posted by Duff at 01:34 PM | E-Mail | Comments (0) | Permalink | filed under Random Quotes, Remember
May 28, 2008
Quote of the Night and perhaps THE CENTURY!
Said by my Dad, to my Mom, in the midst of reporting to her about how AWESOME Battlestar Galactica is (he's halfway through season 1, disc 1 (the mini-series), he had to hang up to get back to it but called me midway through to rave), which he just started as I sent him all the discs as an early Birthday present:
Carolyn is the one kid in a million who actually paid off.
Hello, I WIN. ;) And yay, Dad is loving BSG too. Someone else to share the obsession. Yay!
Posted by Duff at 09:00 PM | E-Mail | Comments (0) | Permalink | filed under " " of the XXX., DadReaction, Random Quotes, Remember, TVTVTV
April 18, 2008
Five Things.
Three great pleasures in life: Music, Food, Sex.
-Anthony Bourdain*
Two certainties: Death, Taxes.
-Benjamin Franklin
*Listened to Bourdain's appearance on the 1/27/08 SoundOpinions podcast while I walked home. Very entertaining. A favorite line (not an exact quote / I'm paraphrasing): you even show the appearance of enjoying Billy Joel's music in my kitchen and you're immediately fired.
Posted by Duff at 06:20 PM | E-Mail | Comments (0) | Permalink | filed under Podcasts, Random Quotes, Remember
